


at the dawning of the world

by phalangine



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Canon Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-25 11:19:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10763190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phalangine/pseuds/phalangine
Summary: The one where Jim is a god and Bones is his reluctant follower.





	at the dawning of the world

**Author's Note:**

> tbqh, this is really just an excuse for me to play around with the idea of jim as a god. there's no real plot.
> 
> title from madeline miller's _the song of achilles_ : "we were like gods at the dawning of the world, and our joy was so bright we could see nothing else but the other."

There is someone in His temple. It isn't much, just a small, permanent lean-to in a forgotten part of a forgotten wood. No one has come to see Him in many human centuries. Yet here one is, a man come to His holy land. Standing in His temple. He feels the presence even in the senseless world of the forgetting.

"I don't know if you can hear me," the man says, sounding lost. "Hell, for all I know, you're long dead. But if you're not, well, I figure I could use a god as much as you could use a follower."

The man unscrews the lid of a flask and pours some of the contents onto the ground.

It's bourbon- good bourbon. A sacrifice even a greater god would like.

He follows its pull up and out of the forgetting and into the world between gods and men. From there, He looks down at his newfound believer.

The man is scruffy. His eyes are red, and his soul feels too heavy. A believer is a believer, however, and He will not spurn this man.

"Hello," He says as he forces Himself into the human plane and in front of His believer.

The man jumps. "What the hell?"

"You called for me," He points out. "You made a sacrifice."

"I wasn't expecting an answer! Not so quick, anyways." The man folds his arms across his chest. "Aren't you supposed to blind me or something?"

"Do you want me to?" He would rather not harm the man, but if that is what is desired of Him...

"No!" the man says quickly. "No, I'm good. I just... I've never met a god before."

Understandable. The gods who are still worshipped rarely appear on the mortal plane anymore, and those lesser gods like Him are too weak to come forth without a believer to give them the power they need in order to leave the forgetting.

"I have not known a human in many years," He says softly. "But I would not harm you."

The man nods. "I need your help."

"Ask."

"I'm going into space." He frowns, and the man points above his head. "It's dangerous out there. Lots of disease, more ways to die than there are days in a year. All of that wrapped up in darkness and silence"

"You wish me to protect you?" He asks. It's the highest form of regard to be entrusted with a human life. To be summoned from the forgetting expressly to preserve this man is... It makes His spirit sing.

The man scratches at his jaw. "I'm not going out there because I want to. My ex-wife took the whole damn planet in the divorce. All I've got left is my bones- and, once a month, my daughter. I've gotta stay alive for her."

He nods. Yes, he remembers human love well, though in his case it was more carnal than familial. His believer's soul flares brighter as he adds, "Her name is Joanna."

A good name. "And yours?"

"You don't know?"

"I could," He says with a shrug, "but humans often find my touch disconcerting."

The man nods as if this comes as no surprise. "I'm McCoy," he says. "Leonard McCoy." He hesitates. "The old lady who told me about you said I should ask your name for myself."

Old lady? He had thought all His believers were dead. He shakes off the thought. It doesn't matter.

When He tells Bones His name, however, the human just blinks at Him, eyes gone wide.

"I can't pronounce that," he says. "My mouth doesn't move that way."

A common issue. The tongue of the gods was never intended to be spoken by human lips. "Perhaps it sounds like a human name you can say?"

Bones' eyes narrow, and his soul flickers in thought for, in a human's eyes, a long time. "Jim," he announces at last. "That's the closest we're going to get."

Jim. The name feels odd but not wrong. "Then you may call me Jim." He likes it better spoken by Bones' lips than His own, but it will do.

Bones gives him a tentative smile. "You'll keep me safe, then, right?"

"I will."

"And you can do that? From here?" Bones asks dubiously.

Jim smiles wide. "I will, of course, be coming with you."

 

**_xx_ **

 

Space is incredible. Jim loves it the moment he sees it. Everything is so open, so new. There's life secreted away in the most unusual places, and it's all so different from humanity. It reminds Jim of the home of the gods that way. He hasn't been there for millennia, but he could never forget it.

Bones doesn't share his feelings.

"Disease and darkness," he reminds Jim as he gets settled in their quarters. "Five years. Good God."

"Must you profane?" Jim asks, pained. "I realize you aren't intentionally invoking me, but it feels strange."

"Oops."

Jim sighs. "Why do I get the feeling you aren't going to stop?"

 

**_xx_ **

 

Jim meets Bones' crew and quickly decides that, whether they choose to worship him or not, they're his. There's Christopher Pike, the captain, who has a sense of unshakable authority Jim immediately respects. Pavel Chekov shares Jim's discomfort with English. Hikaru Sulu has a husband and a daughter, of whom he is deeply fond, his soul warming the same way Bones' does when he speaks about Jo. Scotty and Keenser are a vibrant duo Jim enjoys from the moment he sees their souls. Nyota Uhura is skeptical of him, but she is obviously fascinated by the language of the gods- Jim may decide to share bits with her later, just to see what her clockwork mind makes of them. Spock, however, is another story. As a non-human, he has a different sort of regard for gods. He fights with Jim from the moment they meet.

"Pointy-eared bastard," Jim hisses one night back in their quarters.

Bones snorts as he strips out of his uniform. "I thought you liked challenges."

"I like challenges with solutions," Jim grumbles.

Bones rolls his eyes. He tugs his shirt up and over his shoulders a moment later, obscuring his face.

Jim watches with the same curiosity he had the first time he saw Bones undress. He knows humans, in every sense of the word. Before his followers disbanded, he had been a god of decadence. Most gods don't consort with humans; Jim had gone the opposite direction. Human pleasures may be fleeting, but that doesn't lessen them.

Yet for all his knowledge of humanity, he can't help but watch as Bones reveals himself, bit by bit. He's so soft, Jim thinks as he always does. Bones should have some sort of armor to keep him safe.

The others believe in Jim, which gives him more strength than Bones alone, but Bones is the only one who offers any kind of worship to him. It's accompanied by eye rolls and snorts, but he willingly says his thanks and murmurs his praise morning and night.

Jim grows stronger with each word. There is no duty to Bones' words, no sense of grudging obligation. He means his praise, holds nothing back as he thanks Jim for protecting the ship from asteroid belts and black holes.

Before he was lost in the forgetting, Jim had often chosen favorites. He thinks, if Bones had been there, Jim would have chosen him and kept him even among the crowds jostling for attention.

But would Bones have chosen him?

 

**_xx_ **

 

The crew gets sick.

Jim doesn't know this immediately. He is off exploring space, far from the ship. The only human he keeps an eye on is Bones, and Bones is not among the sick. It isn't until Bones prays to him that Jim realizes what's happening.

"Can you hear me, Jim?" Bones asks, his soul in his mouth. "Things are bad here. I need your help."

Jim goes to him immediately.

He returns to chaos. The med bay is slammed, bodies and blood everywhere. Nurses are scrambling between the doorway and the crowded beds. The sick are sitting with their backs against the walls. Bones himself. is fighting to keep a convulsing crew mate from throwing himself off the bed.

"Jim!" he shouts when he recognizes him.

Jim can only shake his head. "I can't save them."

Two beds over, a woman dies. Jim feels her soul slam out of her body.

There's no time to mourn her. Bones is already moving onto the next bed.

"Can you keep me from getting sick?" he asks.

Jim nods, just in time for someone to hack blood all down the front of Bones.

"What about the others?"

Jim shakes his head again, and Bones curses.

"There may be something I can do to help," he offers cautiously.

Bones doesn't look up from where he's mopping the man's sweaty brow. "What?"

"I may be able to find out what did it."

"How?"

"If you were to get sick, I could identify the cause and, perhaps, divine a cure."

Bones doesn't hesitate. "Do it."

"You could die-"

"They'll all die if you don't. Do it."

Jim does.

 

**_xx_ **

 

Bones dies twice. It takes all Jim's strength to wrestle Bones' soul back into his body, but he manages it- and to make a cure. Rather than simply burn the pestilence out of Bones, Jim has to help Bones' own body learn how to fight it off. The effort leaves both of them soaked with sweat and panting, but it works. Bones' body fends off the sickness. One of Bones' nurses takes over, then, and Jim is finally able to slump down and sink into darkness.

 

**_xx_ **

 

He wakes up in the world between planes. Even incorporeal, he's tired and aching. He seeks Bones out without meaning to, slowly coalescing into something approaching human.

When Bones sees him, he drops his PADD.

"Jim?"

Jim grunts, too tired for human speech. Or godly speech. Any speech, really.

They're in Bones' quarters, so Jim drags himself to the bed and flops down. The bed isn't perfect, but he sighs happily as he sinks into it. The room is full of Bones. Jim can feel him like a second heart beating in his chest.

"Are you all right?"

Jim flaps a hand at him.

Bones sighs. "You've been gone for two weeks, you know."

Ah. That explains the nervous thrum of Bones' soul. "Can't die," he points out.

"Well, I don't know that, do I?"

"Gods never die." There are exceptions to that, but what Bones doesn't know can't hurt him. "We just fade."

"Is that what you were when I found you?" Bones asks, coming over to sit on the edge of his bed. "Faded?"

Jim shifts slightly closer to Bones so his hip is pressed to Bones's back. Gods, one particularly irreverent believer once pointed out, are rather like dogs. They like to be near their masters. No god would ever admit it, but there's truth to the idea that humans are their masters. What is a god without their faithful?

He remembers the forgetting. It was perfect emptiness, total peace. It made him sick.

"I'm glad you survived," Jim says instead of answering.

Bones pats Jim's leg. "Thanks to you, I'm not the only one."

"I should have been able to save them all."

"You're still new," Bones tells him gently. "We humans feel like this all the time."

"I don't like it."

"No one does." Bones chuckles and squeezes the hand on Jim's leg. "Seriously, Jim. Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," Jim assures him. "But I'll need to stay close to you."

"I've never healed a god before. "

Jim huffs. "You still haven't."

"Give me time."

Jim would give Bones eternity. He's never been so attached to a believer before, but it feels right. Bones is special.

 

**_xx_ **

 

For a doctor, Bones has a funny sense of propriety. He doesn't like Jim seeing him naked. He doesn't like Jim popping in to check on him when he's been quiet in the shower for too long. He gets angry when Jim doesn't look away when he changes.

The only time Jim is allowed to see him anything other than fully dressed is when they are on break and Bones is in the bath, body obscured by a thick layer of bubbles.

"You've nothing to be ashamed of, you know," Jim says for the hundredth time. "You are my disciple. I would be moved by you even if you were hideous."

Bones just grunts.

"I don't understand why you're so uptight. It's just a body. I've already seen your soul."

"Why are you so hung up on this?" Bones asks, eyes still shut. "Like you said, it's just a body."

"But it's your body," Jim protests. He isn't sure himself why he cares so much. He never particularly cared before. Yet something in his gut demands that he know everything about Bones. Every inch of him must be catalogued and known.

Jim would very much like to touch Bones, but his believer is strange about touch. Sometimes Jim's fingers will send a shiver through him that shakes his soul. Sometimes, he twists away. It's impossible to know which Jim will get until he does it.

"And I'm not allowed in the bath with you?" he presses.

"You are definitely not allowed in the bath with me."

Jim taps his hip, annoyed. "I could make you."

"You could."

"You couldn't stop me."

"I couldn't."

Jim sighs. "I don't like you."

"Get my glass from the other room?"

Jim holds out his hand, and the glass appears in it. He holds it out to Bones, who finally opens his eyes.

"What the hell? It's empty."

"You said to get your glass."

"Jim, where's my drink?"

"Right here." And with that, Jim drops the whiskey onto Bones' head.

"What the- Jim!"

Jim howls with laughter even as Bones scrambles to his feet and launches himself at him.

 

**_xx_ **

 

The call to Joanna ends, and Bones leans back in his chair. He puts his hands over his eyes, and Jim watches, human gut knotting itself, as tears slip down Bones' face. He makes no sound beyond his quiet, shuddering breaths, but Jim can feel the weight on Bones' soul. There's nothing he can do to make Bones not miss his daughter, nothing he can give to alleviate the ache in Bones' chest.

A better god would be able to bring Bones some sense of peace.

Jim was never particularly good at that part of godhood.

"She's getting bigger," Bones says softly, voice catching. "I knew she'd be different, but she's so big..."

Jim casts his thoughts back, but he can't recall his birth or his youth. He isn't even sure which greater god made him.

"It's good," he says tentatively, "for humans to know where you come from. Your daughter will be able to look to the stars and know her father braves them for her. That's a good heritage, I think."

Bones lets out a wet laugh. "Are you trying to cheer me up?"

"Is it working?"

"Not really."

Jim slumps forward, suddenly exhausted. "Things were much easier when I was here last time," he tells his hands. "Humanity was still in its infancy. You made time to dance and celebrate and fuck. You suffered for our whims, but you were happier."

"Do you wish I hadn't woken you up?"

"No." It's true. The forgetting was an anesthetic, a quiet sort of purgatory, but gods were no more born to lie quietly than humanity was. "I'm glad to be here. You're a good believer."

Bones snorts. "Now there's a sentence you don't hear often."

Jim lifts his head. "Will you tell me more about medicine?" he asks on a whim.

"If you want. Where do you want me to start?"

"Last time you told me how to build a heart," Jim says thoughtfully. "Now I want you to tell me how to make it work."

Bones obliges.

 

**_xx_ **

 

Jim likes Bones. It's a strange feeling, far removed from his distant appreciation of his previous worshippers. Bones feels more alive to him. More vital. He's a human and a half. Almost a god himself the way he carefully knits humans and aliens alike back together.

It comes as no surprise that Jim wants to keep him close. That he wants more than that, though... Well, he always did like humans who burned that little bit brighter.

 

**_xx_ **

 

Bones is acting strange. He's been dodging Jim, spending extra hours at work and returning to their quarters only to fall fast asleep the moment his head hits the pillow.

Jim doesn't like it.

He corners Bones one morning, crowding him against the door to their quarters.

"You chose me," he says softly, daring Bones to contradict him. "Of all the gods, you dedicated yourself to me."

Bones frowns. "What're you talkin' about? I've got to get to work."

"I didn't force you to worship me," Jim continues. "Did I?"

"No, but-"

"So why are you avoiding me?"

"Jim, I'm not following."

"You could have found any number of temples," Jim explains slowly. "I was not the only god in the forgetting you could have called on. You must have come to mine on purpose."

"And...?"

"I want to know why. Why did you choose me, and why are you rejecting me?" Bones shakes his head, and Jim's temper flares. "Damned human," he hisses in his mother tongue, the sound making Bones' eyes go wide.

"Jim?" he asks, tone wary.

Jim backs away. "I'm going for a walk."

 

**_xx_ **

 

Bones finds him on the bridge. Jim has been sitting in Pike's chair- the captain lets him sit in it sometimes, when things are quiet. Jim likes it, feels an unusual draw to the chair and its view of all the humans busily working away.

Pike clears his throat, no doubt to alert Jim to Bones' arrival. Jim already knows, though. He always knows where Bones is.

Jim ignores them both.

Bones walks over and says lowly, "I need to talk to you." Jim shrugs. "In private," Bones adds pointedly.

"I'm your god," Jim reminds him. "I can hear you anywhere."

"Jim..."

"What?" Jim's hackles are up. He doesn't like playing human. Always so many things happening at once, never able to be quiet.

"Jim, please."

The others are pretending not to listen, but Jim knows they are. Bones probably does, too.

Jim gets to his feet, too fast for a human's comfort. He is a god after all. He should scare humans. He could reduce this entire galaxy to dust.

Bones looks disappointed. "Sorry for interrupting, Captain," he says to Pike, who shakes his head.

"Nice to see you outside the lab," Pike says mildly. "And Jim is always welcome on the bridge."

Bones nods sharply before turning on his heel and marching out. Jim follows him at his own pace. He won't chase after Bones.

They move through the halls in silence broken only by Bones' sharp footsteps.

When they get to their quarters, Bones goes to the bed and sits down heavily. Jim stops just inside the doorway and folds his arms across his chest.

Bones looks right at Jim and asks, "Do you know why humans aren't supposed to fall for gods?"

Jim freezes.

"It's because gods are weak. You bow down so low to reach us, you break. And then what good are you?" Bones' expression is crooked. "Humans are always reaching, Jim. To the stars, to perfection, to immortality. We're so little, yet we can't help but grab at the things just beyond our grasp. And once we take hold of the gods, what do you think will happen? Do you think our quest will stop? Or do you think we'll keep reaching, striving to be more?"

"I don't understand."

"I chose you because I liked the sound of a god who loved humans too much. You let us use you to climb higher, and you loved us still." Bones' mouth twists. "If I was going to put my life in someone else's hands, I knew I needed a god who would be right there with me."

"You chose me because I seem human?" Jim asks. "Is that what you're saying?"

Bones nods.

"I don't know what to do with that. I'm not human."

"I know." Bones gets up and crosses the room to stand before Jim.

"Then what-"

Bones kisses him.

 

**_xx_ **

 

The water is warm, just this side of too hot.

Jim hooks his chin over Bones' shoulder.

"There's more than one way to worship, you know," he says lowly, pressing his bare hips against Bones' bare backside suggestively.

Bones snorts. "Why am I not surprised?"

Jim hums in reply, flattening his palms over Bones' belly and tugging him closer.

"Do you know why gods crave humans?" he asks as he slides one hand along the trail of wiry hair down Bones' pelvis. He takes hold of Bones' soft cock and gives it a gentle stroke, thumbing lightly at the head.

Bones sighs and lets himself lean harder into Jim.

Soaping up his free hand, Jim noses at the skin behind Bones' ear. "It's because you reach for us," he says as he closes his soapy fist around Bones' shaft. "Do you know what that's like, Bones? To hold worlds in your hands?" He gives Bones a stroke. "You do, don't you?"

Bones swallows hard, and Jim places a kiss over Bones' pulse point.

"Damn it, Jim...!"

"Not in the mood right now, but maybe later."

"You're an ass," Bones pants.

Jim hums his agreement. He probably ought to teach Bones to speak to him with more respect, but he enjoys this side of Bones. He's always enjoyed irreverence in his followers. It makes their devotion that much sweeter.

He continues stroking Bones, holding him up with his body and the hand on Bones' belly. His human form enjoys the contact and the sounds Bones makes, but as a god...

As a god, Jim has never felt more powerful.

He tightens his grip and quickly brings Bones off. Bones comes with a groan, sinking harder against Jim as he drags in ragged breaths, his heartbeat racing in Jim's ears.

Jim holds him as Bones’ legs grow steady enough to hold his weight, but even once they are, Bones doesn’t move away. He simply puts his hands over Jim’s and lets his head loll back, eyes shut against the spray.

Jim studies him idly, taking in the sharp line of Bones’ jaw, the curve of his nose, the delicate skin beneath his eyes. They’re on a Starfleet base, as safe as they can be, but Jim feels a shudder of anxiety run through him. Bones’ immortality is of a strange sort. He will die one day; no god that can change that will, and no god that will can. But he will live on in the children of the lives he saves. He will inhabit thankful but small parts of a thousand hearts.

Jim isn’t sure that’s enough.


End file.
